I’ll be honest—today is a struggle. I’ve been sick with something resembling the flu since Friday. I was so proud of myself for dodging the Christmas break crud that almost everyone I know had, and then back to school and BOOM, my daughter brings it home and shares it with me. 😂

.

I rested all weekend. I did all the holistic sick-healing things. And I am on the mend, but it’s taking longer than I want and I’m so behind on everything from client emails to laundry to dishes to errands.

.

The worst part, though, is how my anxiety is triggered after just a few days of inactivity . I couldn’t sleep last night, and it wasn’t because of my illness, but because I felt like the world was closing in on me.

.

How quickly I forget what a tightrope those who struggle with anxiety walk on a daily basis.

.

I have learned how to take care of myself. I have learned how to cherish my mind and body and give them what they need, but after a few days out of sorts it feels like my decades of work are useless and I’m right back where I started.

.

Now I know this isn’t true, really, but I have my moments. It keeps me humble, I hope, to be forced to remember that this journey isn’t a perfect straight line with regularly scheduled rest stop breaks, as much as I would like it to be. It’s messy. It’s hard. And sometimes moving forward means creating a little space in your heart to allow motion that feels like going backwards.

.

For now I’m going to rest a little more. I am going to practice being in this uncomfortable moment. I’m going to meditate, open my heart, and just allow. 💚

Love and Light,

Elizabeth